Less than 3 Weeks to the Boda!!!

Let me be perfectly 1. honesta and say that the wedding is less than three semanas away and I still have a lot to do and am feeling pretty stressed out and exhausted lately. Plus my family is coming in less than dos semanas and I have been busy getting the escuela ready for them. So…this blog is going to be a short one.

Reuniones de Mujeres (Women´s Reunions)

Lately the hermanas from la iglesia have been having get togethers cada martes, and the 2. varones cada sabado. The hombres meet in the school, and the mujeres usually meet in the church edificio or in one of the ladies´houses. We sing 3. cantos and have a short Bible study, then we do some kind of actividad and eat juntos. One of the ladies taught us how to sew flower diseños on a cloth, and another taught us how to knit. The ladies from a nearby congregación, Teopisca (where there is no full time 4. predicador) come and visit with us every other week, and on the other weeks we go there. I´m not much into sewing, but at least they´re doing algo other than having a Bible estudio and leaving quickly afterwards. Below is a foto of us sewing 5. flores on un día when several damas came:

Reuniones de Varones (Men´s Reunions)

David has been using the Saturday reunions to help some of the men develop their preaching skills. Also, some of them having been going evangelizar every Thursday in areas of nuevas congregaciones. The congregation continues to send men to preach in Teopisca, Chiapas (which I mentioned above), as well as others. José Luis and I go to Teopisca every other Saturday. José Luis preaches or gives a Bible class, and sometimes more. There are only about 15 personas in the whole congregation, and only about 4 of them are men, so they need all the help they can get. Here is a foto of my future brother-in-law Gerardo giving a Bible study at Teopisca and the outside of the church building:

Grupo de Parejas Jovenes (Young Couples Group)

You may remember from a few blogs back that José Luis and I wanted to try to 6. iniciar a young couples grupo. We had hoped that after the first 7. convivio one of the other couples would take the initiative to host another one, but when several meses passed and no one else had offered, we decided to try it again. We invited them to come to the school to watch a 8. pelicula we had rented. We hooked it up to the new LCD projector, so it was almost like being in a 9. cine. And we were careful to tell them it was just a movie, because otherwise they would think that it´s¨another worship service¨and wouldn´t come. But they still didn´t come. Apart from José Luis and I and his brother and sister-in-law (who are the only ones we can really count on), only one other couple showed up (out of ten or more). For the longest time I couldn´t figure out why the other couples weren´t interesados…until David mentioned in a Sunday morning worship service that ¨we can´t have young couples reunions because it´s respect of persons. It´s okay to have get togethers but only if we invite the whole congregation.¨ It´s amazing how much one person can 10. influir the whole congregation! I still don´t understand where the cristianos here get their off the wall ideas …but David´s 11. concepto of the young couples group is just the kind of thing I was referring to in the last blog when I said that they´re not ready yet to accept the kind of plans and ideas that I have in mind. Nonetheless, I am 12. determinada to keep trying with the 13. parejas until they finally decide to give in and start coming (ha!)

¿Puedo cortar el cabello, por favor? (May I please cut my hair?)

It´s a big deal here for women to respect their esposos and ask them for permission for todo. Yesterday I went to a hair salon to see about the hairstyle I will use for the wedding. The hairstylist told me it would be a good idea to cut the ends of my hair first. I mentioned (jokingly) that I hadn´t cut my 14. cabello in a while ¨because my boyfriend doesn´t want me to cut it so it´ll be long for the wedding.¨ I told her to go ahead and do it while I was already there, and she started talking about how it would be better to talk to my novio first to make sure it´s okay and then come back another day. ¨Because if the wife doesn´t ask permission from her husband to do things, there are always problems in the relationship.¨ Of course that´s 15. cierto for some things, but not EVERYTHING. I sent José Luis a cell phone message asking his ¨permiso,¨just to appease her. Luckily José Luis is not chauvinistic like many Mexican men, and we both laughed about it later.

Algunas Dificultades de Vivir Aquí (Some Difficulties of Living Here)

It also amazes me how open the Mexicans can be sometimes with their 16. opiniones. I can´t even begin to tell you how sick I am of people who ask me ¨Why do you live by yourself?¨ ¨Why are you going to use colors in your wedding?¨ ¨Why do you use garbage bags?¨ and any other absurd preguntas! I really think there are still a lot of people here who think that I just stay in the house all day twiddling my thumbs, waiting for someone to give me something to do.

Besides the culture, there are some things about living here that I never really have gotten used to. When I´m ready to take a shower, I first have to go and light the pilot light on the boiler, then wait about 40 minutes for the water to get 17. caliente. Yes, I have suffered through plenty of cold showers since I´ve been here because I didn´t wait long enough. On a good day it only takes me five minutes to light the pilot. On a typical day, I try for several minutes, kick it, hit it…and it still doesn´t work. Now that the cold season is upon us, I shiver myself to sleep every night, wondering how long it will be before Mexicans buy heating systems for their casas. When I wash my face en las noches, the agua feels like ice slashing my face. When I wash my 18. ropa, I first have to wait and wait and wait for four buckets to fill up with water…then, 15 minutos después I have to fill up the buckets again in order for the washing machine to start the rinse cycle. (I foolishly did not realize until several loads of clothes too late that the 19. lavadora doesn´t move into the rinse cycle automatically.) If I am in the middle of cooking something and suddenly realize that I don´t have all of the ingredientes, I can´t just get in a car and drive five minutes to the closest grocery store; I have to wait for the bus, then finally arrive at the 20. tienda nearly half an hour after boarding (and by the time I get back I´m already starving!) If everything goes well, though, José Luis and I will move to the good ole USA together in the summer, so I will only have to put up with everything for a few more meses. Every lugar has its fair share of challenges though, so why am I even complaining?

Las Clases de Inglés (The English Classes)

I have been teaching English every sabado (10-12 for beginners and 12-2 for intermediates). The last time I taught I had a good grupo of intermedios but not so many principiantes. This time I have nine in the beginners class (it doesn´t sound like a lot, but it´s more than I usually have) and only two in the intermediates class (José Luis and his brother). The beginners are good students, but they seem to be on auto pilot throughout the entire class. Once again I feel like I am having to clean up the leftovers of poor teachers who don´t teach the students to think, only to write write write and listen listen listen. Plus, the 21. alumnos are too shy to even open their 22. bocas! In the intermediates class, on the other hand, we have been focusing more on conversation and reading skills. I have been giving them more 23. tarea so that we can make the most of the two hours we have together each week. I must admit that I like the intermediates class more even though there are only two of them.

24. Anoche when I came home, several military guys with big guns and stern faces were surrounding the school. Lately they have been stopping there to check cars for 25. drogas. Even so, it´s kind of weird and spooky to see them right in front of my doorstep!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thankgiving and that you thought of me, turkeyless and familyless, as you wolfed down your meal!!! (Just Kidding.) I spent my ¨Thanksgiving¨going from house to house giving out wedding invitations (since it is not acceptable here to send them in the mail). In half a day we managed only three visitas--and will continue again first thing mañana!

1. honest
2. men
3. songs
4. preacher
5. flowers
6. to start
7. get together
8. movie
9. movie theater
10. influence
11. concept
12. determined
13. couples
14. hair
15. true
16. opinions
17. warm
18. clothes
19. washing machine
20. store
21. students
22. mouths
23. homework
24. last night
25. drugs

Highs and Lows with the Jovenes

San Cristobal in the distance

Allow me to Vent…

I have a new pet peeve. I can´t stand it when people talk to me in Spanish, then a few minutes later ask someone else (NOT me!) ¨¿Ella habla español?¨ (Does she speak Spanish?). Or worse, they talk about me in the third person, as if I´m not even there listening! I just had to get that off my chest. While I´m at it, there´s something else I need to get off my chest too. David is infamous for preaching ONLY about marriage in the weeks leading up to the boda of two church miembros. Last week he mentioned José Luis and I in his sermon and it really bothered me. Actually, I became so mad that I left during the announcements; I was not in the mood to talk to anyone. José Luis immediately went and talked to him about it afterwards. I won´t tell you what David said because it´s so ridiculous; but I will include 1. un poema I wrote in repsone to what happened (at the end of the blog). Each of the church members (including David) have their good 2. puntos and their bad puntos, and of course I don´t want to dwell too much on the bad points. At the mismo tiempo, I don´t want anyone to have the delusion that everyone here is bright and fun and cheery and that I never have any conflictos with them.

Now for the more positive stuff! As you know, our work with the jovenes (like so many other things) so frequently teeters between really great and uplifting and really low and discouraging. For example, one week there are several in attendance, and the next week they´ve all disappeared again. I still haven´t figured out what causes the abrupt changes. But it seems that now we are in a high point again. We have been averaging close to 20 for the Sunday morning classes! José Luis continues to teach all of the teens together, and I only teach the girls once every two months or so.

Unresponsive Girls

Actually, the last time I taught them I was really 3. emocionada because I taught them about Esther, one of my favorite Bible characters. I asked them before we started what they knew about the 4. historia, and no one said anything. But only cinco girls showed up that day, and the whole time I was teaching them they seemed distracted, like everything I was saying was going in one ear and out the other. Also I have been wanting for some time now to help the girls 5. organizar a short worship service for the 6. damas of the congregation (working with the Young Ladies Serving Christ at Mt. Juliet last year inspired the idea). We frequently talk about using our 7. talentos and stepping out of our comfort zones, and I want them to be prepared for oportunidades they may have to lead as they get older instead of constantly being afraid to say a oracion, read a verso, or whatever. But one problema with not having ancianos is that David and Ani tend to take charge of everything. When I mentioned the idea to Ani the first time, she told me we would talk about it later. When I mentioned it again, she told me that I should consider putting tablecloths on the tables for the Sunday morning classes (I am not kidding you!) Obviously the way a 8. mesa looks is más importante to some people than whether their hijos have opportunities for spiritual 9. crecimiento. Also, I had all of the girls note what they would like to do (lead songs, speak, etc.) Then I started thinking that even though they wrote their names, I could not count on them to do what they said they were going to do. The teens have a terrible habito here of saying they´re going to show up for something, and then don´t. I was afraid that only 2 or 3 would show up (like always) and would be stuck doing everyone else´s part. I also didn´t want them to think I was forcing them to participate in something they weren´t comfortable with. So the next time we had class together, I told them to let me know afterwards if they were still 10. interesadas and what they wanted to do. No one did.

All of that was another low point for me. Reluctantly, I have come to accept that the Christians here just aren´t ready yet for the kinds of 11. metas and 12. ambiciones I have had in mind since the very beginning. Who knows when they will be…but at least I can´t say I didn´t try.

A New Take on the Teens´Class

Lately, however, José Luis has been asking the teens what kinds of doubts and questions they have and addressing those in the class. Not surprisingly, many of them were confused about the same topicos. What did surprise me is that they participated much more this time (we have asked them plenty of times in the 13. pasado what they want 14. estudiar and they never have volunteered anything 15. específico), and that some of their 16. ¨dudas¨are actually basic things that we thought they should already know well, like baptism. We started with an explanation of the 17. diferencias between the old and new 18. pactos, and now José Luis will begin to teach them about different parts of 19. adoración, and why we worship the way that we do. He is teaching them those things not just because of the doubts they have, but so they will be better prepared to talk to their amigos and familiares about the issues. José Luis´younger brother, Toño, has been involved in a series of discussions lately with some Pentecostal classmates, and he comes to José Luis anytime he doesn´t know how to counter an argument. So José Luis has used Toño´s preguntas as a springboard for the classes. We have a feeling there are several others who, like Toño, have not known very well how to talk to someone about doctrinal issues but have just been too afraid to tell us.

José Luis teaching the teens one Sunday morning

Reunión de Jovenes en Cintalapa (Youth Rally in Cintalapa)

Two weeks ago we took a group of ocho teens to a youth rally. There are about 30 teens in the congregación in all, and only about 20 who participate regularly. So I think for us to have to wake up early on a Saturday morning, pay public transportation, and go to a city about three hours away, eight is not bad. Remember that for them three hours is much farther away because they hardly ever leave their home towns. Many of them had never been to a ¨reunión de jovenes¨before, and some had also never been to the city where it was held (Cintalapa). Before we left they asked us to take them to the ¨central park¨ just so they could see what it looked like. (Each of the towns here have a big parque in the middle of the city, which is the part of the city you ¨have to see¨ in order to say that you´ve been there.) The only bad thing about the trip is that we had to pay for public transportation, about $13 a person. No one from church who has a car offered to take us, but that´s another story. I really think if it wasn´t for the transportation costs many more teens would have gone.

José Luis was in charge of games, and Cesar (the preacher/youth minister from Cintalapa) did not tell him about it until a few days before. So we spent the greater part of each of those days getting ready for the games. About 70 teens came in all---not bad for this to only be the second youth rally they´ve had. José Luis divided them into eight 20. equipos, and they had to run together to eight different stations to complete a certain activity as quickly as possible. The activities ranged from answering questions and riddles about the Bible to carrying their teammates to balancing water cups on their heads, and the first team that finished won a prize. The teens from San Cristobal and I manned the stations. When we arrived we ate breakfast together, then we received name tags and heard the first sermon. Everything started late and the sermon ran much longer than expected (almost 3 hours!), so we were not able to use all of the games we had planned. But the preacher was very interesante, and very good at helping the teens to think and reflect. After the games we ate lunch together, heard another sermon by the same preacher, and told each other adios. It was certainly not as well organized as an American youth day, and I think it probably hasn´t even occurred to them to split the teens into classes instead of having two long sermons. But all in all it was a success, and a good effort for their primera vez. I feel like the more they have these kinds of activities, the more they will improve.

All of us who went to the youth rally (excepto de José Luis). I told them we were going to take a silly picture, and this is what they did (nothing!)

Un Estilo de Vida Diferente (A Different Lifestyle)

I still have to remind myself sometimes that the teens here are so much different from American teens--not just in their estilo de vida, but in the kinds of things they are exposed to each day. Carlos, a young guy about 20 years old, got baptized and joined the grupo de jovenes a few weeks ago. (Below is a foto of his bautismo.) Actually, one of the girls invited him and studied with him--good for her! So far Carlos has participated a lot in the classes and seems to be really on fire for the 21. Señor. Last week, however, he explained to José Luis that the dueños of the room he is renting are very Catholic. They saw him reading his Bible a lot, and told him that Christians are not allowed to live there. When he tried to reason with them, they did not want to listen. How many American teens do you know who have to find a new place to live just because of their religion? Another girl, Maribel, has been attending with her aunt and other family members. She is 14, but does not go to school. The first time I met her she asked me what she would be able to help me with because she ¨needs to work.¨ Maribel is very sweet and 22. bonita, and on the surface she seems like any other 14 year old girl. You would never guess by looking at her that she had to give up studying and move to another ciudad in order to help her family.

Many of the jovenes cannot participate in as many youth eventos as they would like because their parents do not give them 23. permiso. Deissy and Sonia, however, are cousins who attend every reunión with their moms and abuela and must receive persmission not just from their papas, but from their GRANDPARENTS! It is not uncommon here for several familias to live together all under one roof—abuelos, tios, primos, todos! And those who are grown (with families of their own) but still live in their parents´casa must still consult with their parents first about how to raise their kids; they are not considered capable of making those decisiones themselves until they have their own house. Deissy and Sonia told José Luis that they really wanted to go to the youth rally, but that they are not allowed to go in public transportation. Even if they had been able to go, they said that their grandfather would have had to talk to the driver first!! It occurred to me that they rarely attend 24. cualquier of the actividades unless one of their moms accompanies them—and they are 14 years old!!

I am praying every day that the teens will grow spiritually and make good decisions and that José Luis and I will be good leaders for them. I also hope that we will be able to organize an area wide youth event in San Cristobal before we leave. I told José Luis it would be a good ¨last activity¨to leave with them before we go to the United States and someone else (hopefully) takes over. So please pray that that will also come to pass.

Our ¨taxi¨on the way back from the Tuxtla airport one day

Ceremonias Civiles (Civil Ceremonies)

More good news is that José Luis and I sent off the first part of the immigration paperwork last week—woo hoo!!! We decided to apply for a fiancé visa because it´s about one year faster than a spouse visa. Yes, we are still getting married in Mexico in December—but it will not be anything ¨official.¨ Mexican 25. leyes require couples to get married in front of a judge and two witnesses. The 26. juez reads a statement to them that they must repeat (similar to an American preacher reminding the couple of their vows), and then each of them sign the marriage decree. The judge also presents them their rings. The whole process is very long and boring and unromantic!

Laws here also state that this civil ceremony cannot take place in a church. Consequently, most Mexican couples choose to either have a short religious ceremony in their church first and then go to a public place afterwards for the civil ceremony and food (usually a hall that they rent), or they kill two birds with one stone by doing everything in the hall. José Luis and I decided to have the ¨acción de gracias¨in the church building because we both agree that a church has more romantic appeal and are willing to spend a little extra to make it look really nice. Even if we had decided to have the civil ceremony here instead of the U.S., the costs of hiring a judge and paying a fee for me being a foreigner would have been the same as those of the fiancé visa—and it would have taken up to a year longer. So basically we are going to get married in front of God and all of our friends and relatives but not in front of a juez. As part of the fiancé visa, we will have to get married within 90 days of arriving in the U.S. and send immigration the American marriage certificate as soon as we have it. Please pray that God blesses us throughout this entire proceso.

Mexicans must also appear in front of a judge when a new baby is born. I mentioned a few blogs ago that José Luis´brother has a new baby girl. For the longest time I found it 27. extraño that anytime someone asked they still had not decided on the girl´s name. Then I finally realized that they hadn´t decided yet because they did not have any kind of birth certificate yet! Forty days after she was born, they (the parents), the baby, and two 28. testigos attended a short ceremony in which the baby had her picture taken, put her fingerprints on the certificado, and received her official 29. nombre. They finally decided on Abril Guadalupe. They had wanted to name her Lupita Abril,(after her abuela), but the judge would not allow Lupita because it is a shortened name.

Una Nueva Escuela de Predicadores (A New Preaching School)

On Monday David and I traveled to Comalapa, a ciudad about three hours away, to see about starting up another Saturday preaching school there. We opened up a bank account for the school and met with some of the men who will serve as directores and maestros. J.C. Enlow thought Comalapa would be the best place for a new school because of its central location. But it turns out that the church in Comalapa is very small, and they meet in a casa that wouldn´t be big enough for all of the students. Originally the plan was to start the classes in Comalapa in January, but now we will have to find a good 30. ubicación first. It kind of irritates me that the men have known for several months now that we want to start up a school there but waited until now to let us know that there´s no place for it. But that´s just the way they do things here—and the kind of thing that make my job harder ; ) On the way back we stopped and visited with a few hermanos from other congregaciones who need 31. animo.

And now I will leave you with my poema:

Five Hours

The typical Mexican woman spends
At least five hours of her day
In the kitchen—
Cooking for her family.
She leaves the house only
To go to the market
And MUST have the food
Prepared and ready
At all hours—
To meet the family´s
Differing schedule.
Supposedly this makes her
An excellent mother, a sympathizing wife.

But where is the love
In all of her labor?
Where is the love
When her husband,
Having been gone
Who knows where all day
Arrives only long enough
To eat and instead of saying
¨Thank you honey, that was delicious!¨
Knows only how to say
¨Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!¨

Where is the love
When her husband beats her
With a belt
Because she did not do everything
Exactly to his standards?

Where is the love
When her husband
Gives her no money
To buy the food with
And expects her to make it
Magically appear?

Where is the love
When her husband
Sits at the table afterwards,
Watching TV and relaxing,
As she scrubs relentlessly
On the many dirty dishes?

Is there more love in a pan of
Burnt refried beans
That the wife prepared with
Utmost precision and care?
Or in a feast of chicken and rice and
Tortillas and caldo
That she made only because of
Obligation?
You decide.

1. a poem

2. points

3. excited

4. story

5. to organize

6. ladies

7. talents

8. table

9. growth

10. interested

11. goals

12. ambitions

13. past

14. to study

15. specific

16. doubts

17. differences

18. covenants

19. worship

20. teams

21. Lord

22. pretty

23. permission

24. any

25. laws

26. judge

27. strange

28. witnesses

29. name

30. location

31. encouragement