Diary of a Mad Gringa Teacher, Part I

This is an extinct type of sea turtle in the water.
This is me in part of the Chiapas jungle. Can you tell my looking sideways that these plants were much taller than me??

New and Exciting Opportunities

On February 2, José Luis and I both started teaching at a universidad here in San Cristobal. It is called ¨Escuela Superior de Educación Fisica¨ (Superior School of Physical Education). José Luis received his bachelor´s degree there and also taught there dos years ago. We went to see about oportunidades for me only, and as it turned out the secretaria academica hired us both right there on the spot. I am teaching English for 9 hours a week, and José Luis is teaching physical education classes for 16 hours a week. Teachers get paid pretty well here, and the pay for one hour of teaching is as much as what some Mexicans make for a whole day´s work. It is few enough hours for me to still be able to relax every once in a while and stay committed to the preaching schools and my other responsibilidades, and enough pay for us to save up some extra money (particularly for the inevitable immigracion fees). I really feel like God has answered our oraciones in providing us this opportunity.

Me, a Professor??
The reality hasn´t quite set in yet that I´m a university teacher! I never thought I would be, (especialmente since all of my experiencia is with niños and I am barely older than my 1. alumnos). I must say that I am not enjoying the 2. trabajo as much as I thought I would. I feel exactly like a teacher out of one of those classic education movies like Stand and Deliver, Dangerous Minds, or Freedom Writers, who come prepared with so many plans and tough 3. expectativas, only to discover on the first day that the students are neither capable nor willing of meeting those expectations. It is a classic situación of students suffering from poor teachers and just slipping through the cracks, year after year after year. In return, they lack confidence, have no motivation, don´t care if they fail, and don´t even want to try. Their teacher, meanwhile, is doing everything posible to help them, to make the class more interesante, to egg them on...only to become equally exasperated in the proceso.

Let me give you some ejemplos of what I mean. I really had no idea ahead of time of what to expect from my alumnos. The school has zero materiales, and the only thing they gave me before the start of clases was a very short, very vague program of study. According to the program of study for English II, the students are supposed to be learning how to analyze different kinds of texts in English, like narratives, instructional textos, and scientific textos. So, naturally, I assumed that they had already mastered 4. los basicos. Wrong! José Luis had warned me that the programs of study are not very accurate, so my plan for the second class was to give them an evaluative examen (to have a better idea of what their actual level was). When I discovered that they did not understand a single word I was saying to them in a simple introduction, however, I quickly changed plans. The evaluative exam would have been way too hard for them! Instead, their ¨exam¨was to write sentences with the new vocabulary words. Well it turns out that most of them don´t even know how to write a simple sentence! Plus, they are all freshman boys who are only there so they can play soccer and basketball all day. Can you imagine??

My other group, English 4, are sophmores studying tourism. There are only four of them (lucky for me!) They are much better students than my freshman boys, but they, too, lack motivation and act like they are there only because they have to be. (Actually, one day they tried to get out of having class and almost got me in trouble, but that´s a long story). They at least do their homework and participate in class, but even so I feel like they are doing the bare 5. minimo. Everything I do to spice up the class some seems to backfire because they don´t put the necessary 6. esfuerzo into their work. One day, for example, I asked them each to write questions with ¨will¨ to ask their classmates. Well the questions were so outrageous that the other students didn´t even want to answer--which defeated the 7. propósito. Not surprisingly, their level of speaking and listening is very incompatible with that of 8. gramatica.

Basically the first three weeks have been a lot of trial and error. First, I had to figure out where to start since the programs were useless. Sometimes I still give assignments to the English II boys that they act like is over their heads. On the one hand, I don´t want to start from the beginning when they supposedly should have had an English class every year since 6th grade. 9. También, I have a feeling they know a lot more than they realize, and it´s only a matter of drawing out what they know and teaching them to use it wisely. On the other hand, it really gets to me to see students fail; I am the kind of teacher who cannot just sit back and let it happen. But José Luis thinks that if the students see that they´re failing, it will cause them to work harder. Maybe he´s right. The first time I gave homework, no one did it and of course I had to give them all a zero. (The homework was to watch the soccer game between the U. S. and Mexico and take notes on what happened--in Spanish--and they didn´t even want to do that! Urrrrhhhh!!!) The second time, eight of them did the 10. tarea. The last time, all but one of them did it! They still made a lot of 11. errores and were scrambling to get it done at the beginning of class, but at least they did it! Also, I had to talk to three boys one day about copying each other´s homework. I told them it didn´t do them any good to do something that is not their own work and that as long as they make an attempt, I would give them 12. credito. Well they all did their own work the next time, and one of them actually received one of the highest 13. calificaciones. Yea!

More than the Requirements
A few people have told me that the most I can do is just complete the requirements and then after that it´s up to the students; but I don´t agree. It may sound gushy, but I want to teach so that I can help impact the students--not just teach them a bunch of boring grammar. So far the only impression I´ve made, it seems, is that my ideas are very different from what they´re used to--and therefore invalid. The students have had so many bad English teachers for so long that it´s hard for me to ¨undo¨ their poor learning skills. One day I gave something to my English 4 students and specifically told them NOT to translate it, to just look for vocabulary words and try to understand the main idea. But after 20 minutos, they had barely scratched the surface because they were looking up every unknown word in their 14. diccionarios--and had not even identified any of the 15. vocabulario like I had asked! Also, my freshman boys seem to have the 16. mentalidad that if they can´t do something entirely correct, it´s better for them not to do it at all--which could be another razón that they often don´t do their homework. I am trying to emphasize to them that 17. obviamente they are not going to have perfect grammar and spelling in everything they turn in (if they don´t even understand grammar in Spanish, then much less in English) and that´s it´s OKAY!

Lately I spend so much time and 18. energía planning my lessons, so much time putting myself in my students´19. zapatos, so much time wracking my 20. cerebro trying to figure out what will work and what won´t--all for their benefit. (As I mentioned, I am used to teaching kids, which is a lot different--and a lot more 21. divertido!) Sometimes my hard work pays off--like when I experience those small ¨victories¨ like those I already mentioned. Sometimes it doesn´t pay off--and I am the one who ends up feeling stressed out and angry and discouraged afterwards, not them. But José Luis says to be 22. paciente, and that it might be a long time before the students appreciate anything, but that one day they will. I hope he´s right. I have written a poem to sum up my new teacher feelings:

Teacher to Student

All of them are different,
Yet they all look the same
As I´m teaching them—
Faces blank, withdrawn, motionless,
Thinking about what they´re
Going to do this afternoon
And counting down the minutes
Until they´re free of my charge,
Free of the school,
Away from all the stress
And work and boredom.
I, meanwhile, am pleading
Silently for them to
Hang on,
To stay with me,
To pay attention just a little
Bit longer.
My actions say it all—
Asking them to stand up
And practically dance
In a circle,
Laughing with them
When one of the boys
Suddenly falls out of his chair,
Giving them more time
To finish so they can
Do a good job.
And yet,
Try as I may to
Make it
Different,
Interesting,
Exciting,
Every class is still the same;
And every class I still see
The same, lifeless stares.
They are like zombies,
Walking around
Playing their part
In the world
But not actually in it—
Not yet anyway.
And when they finally
Have to integrate,
To face the music,
To do their own work,
I can only hope that—
One of these days—
They will think back
On our short time together
And thank me.

Kids´Class at Church
I am still teaching the kids´class at church on Sunday nights, as well. (There are two fotos above of kids in the class.) Recently a few of the varones started a pre teens class on Sunday mornings, for 8-12 year olds. Several of us who teach the kids have been complaining for a while about the need 22. separar the older kids from the younger ones, so our 23. quejas were finally heard. There are about 10 in the class each semana, and it seems to be going well. Unfortunately, the clase doesn´t help me at all since it is only on Sunday mornings. The preteen teachers have told the students that they´re too big now to go into the kids´class; but nonetheless I still have 11 year olds coming to my class each week and participating right alongside the 2 year olds. I have a feeling they continue coming because their 24. padres have not told them otherwise. And as much as I stress to them that they need to be the líderes and set a good ejemplo for the younger niños, they seem set on doing nothing but the opposite—choking, hitting, kicking, whistling, screaming—and basically making it that much harder for me to maintain control of the class—and keep from losing my patience!

Punishments and Rewards
Yes, the students (young and old) all frustrate me if that was not already 25. obvio. But just when I think I´ve had enough, something happens to make me suddenly change my 26. mente again. I taught the kids a 27. dinamica that helps them get settled and quiet a lot faster anytime we have a prayer. I have also translated some of the Bible 28. cantos I grew up with and taught the kids my own personal Spanish versions, and they love it! Their favorite so far has been ¨12 Spies.¨ Remember I started giving out 29. estrellas to the kids for participation and good behavior (and taking away stars for bad behavior). For every 10 stars they earn a different 30. premio (each one better than the last). Now that the kids have finally caught on to the idea, they will do anything and everything to receive a star. Before, no one would help me clean up the classroom (I sang a song with them and everything, but nothing worked!), and the same two boys always said the prayers. Now (several meses later) nearly all of the kids will stop working right away and actually get down on their hands and knees to pick up 31. basura and crayons, and almost all of the boys wants to pray now (and I´m pretty sure some of them had never prayed before). One day I noticed a 3-year-old loan a crayon to one of the other boys without me saying anything, and I gave him a star for it. Then for the rest of the class all I heard was, ¨Maestra, I shared a pencil sharpener! I let him use my pencil! I gave him my scissors! Are you going to give me a star for it?¨ Another chica said, ¨Can I go get the broom so I can sweep up the floor for you?¨ So maybe I am bribing them, but at least they´re learning to share and lead prayers and be good helpers in the process! Once again, small 32. victorias.

Changing the Culture??
Sometimes I feel like I´m not just trying to change the students, but I´m going against the entire cultura! Many of the other teachers probablemente don´t ask their students to help them clean up after class, and some aren´t interested in teaching new songs or giving the kids different kind of activities; they are just there to fulfil a responsibilidad, and with that they´re happy. Their idea of teaching is watching the kids play for an hour. Also, parents here seem to take the idea that ¨kids will be kids¨ to the 33. extremo. Anytime a family with kids comes to eat at Mr. Taco (José Luis´family´s restaurante), the kids are usually running around the entire restaurant the whole time, while the adultos just talk away, not paying a lick of 34. atención to all the mischief the niños are getting into! At church, when there is no kids´class, the parents let their kids play and run around in the street during the entire worship service! Some of the teachers also have the terrible habito here of giving the kids 35. dulces and prizes and toys for no good reason. Consequently, not a week goes by when a child doesn´t say to me, ¨Are you going to give us a ball?¨ or, ¨Why didn´t I get candy?¨ Anyway, I finally figured out that it´s so hard for me to get the kids to stay in their seats and raise their hand to speak and speak only one at a time because evidently they don´t ever have to do those things with their other maestros. Urrrrhhh!!!!

A Sad Situation
Something very unusual and terrible happened the other day. Three men went to preach in an indigenous community about two hours away, as there is a new convert living there. On their way back, some leaders from the town detained them just for going to preach the 36. evangelio. Many of the communities in Chiapas are still 100% Catholic. Additionally, they are unincorporated; they have no government and no laws, so they think they can get away with whatever they want (and often do). The ¨leaders¨of these communities have sometimes been known to make threats or hurt others just to get a point across. José Luis, my brother-in-law Gerardo, and a few other men went to explain the situación to the police officers in the next closest town, that is incorporated. Then some of them went to talk to the men who were detaining our hermanos. Luckily one of the ministers who went speaks the same Mayan 37. dialecto and was able to talk to them a lot easier. Finally, about 10 p.m. that night, the men were released—with the 38. condición that they never return to that town to preach. Certainly this was a tragic situation that shows us just how much we take our 39. libertad of religion for granted. Fortunately the men from our congregation don´t seem to be too shaken up by it, though. They recently had a meeting when they discussed the need for us to have a better plan of evangelización and go out to evangelize together more 40. frecuentemente.

¡Hasta luego!

P.S. I was not able to move the pictures this time because the mouse on this computer isn´t working very well. Sorry!

1. students

2. job/work

3. expectations

4. the basics

5. mimimum

6. effort

7. purpose

8. grammar

9. also

10. homework

11. errors/mistakes

12. credit

13. grades

14. dictionaries

15. vocabulary

16. mentality

17. obviously

18. energy

19. shoes

20. brain

21. fun

22. to separate

23. complaints

24. parents

25. obvious

26. mind

27. dynamic activity

28. songs

29. stars

30. prize

31. trash

32. victories

33. extreme

34. attention

35. sweets/candy

36. Gospel

37. dialect

38. condition

39. freedom

40. frequently

What the Students and New Converts Have in Common…

While my family was here, we visited a nearby Ingidinous comunidad called ¨Zinacatan.¨ As part of the tour, they showed us many of the traditional clothing they make and wear there (remember that each indiginous community has its own attire). Since José Luis and I were about to get married, they asked us to model these traditional bride and groom clothes. I look fat because they wrapped so many layers of heavy fabrics around me!

After a hectic December, I feel like my January has been a slower mes of getting settled into the new casa, getting used to being a housewife (I´m still working on that one!), getting back to old routines, and just taking things easy.

Sleepover in the School (Pijamada en la escuela)

To start, I hosted a slumber party for the girls from church. It was something I had wanted to do for a while, and just hadn´t been able to. Most of them were still on vacaciones from school. Eight girls came in all, and six decided to spend the night. Some of the girls 1. honestamente acted like they had never spent the night at a friend´s house before. I had told them to bring a blanket and pillow, and none of them did. They also told each other when they arrived that they were just going to stay until 11 o´clock or so. But two of the older girls showed up later with their sleep gear, and the rest of them started to change their minds. At 2. medianoche they finally decided that they would stay, and some of the girls who live closeby went to get more 3. cubijas and 4. almohadas for everyone. They wanted to play game after game after game! We played every one I had prepared, and some I had to quickly think up on the spot (that I was remembering from the sleepovers of my preteen days). Oddly, none of them were interested in seeing peliculas. We did not go to bed until 5 a.m. I think all of the girls really enjoyed it (including me!), and some have even asked when we can do it again.

Girls from church racing down these huge slides at a local park (muchachas de la iglesia que estaban teniendo carreras en estas resbaladillas en un parque)

School Visits (Visitas a las Escuelas)
I have also been taking advantage of this month, before I start teaching Inglés on los sabados again, to go and visit each of the preaching schools. First I went to Ocosingo. About 15 students were present, and Antonio, the director has been giving the students preguntas to help them think critically about the passages they read. Many of the students in Ocosingo started out in other religions, so they are not entirely familiar yet with the 5. doctrina of the 6. Nuevo Testamento. Antonio let me know, however, that just about all of them have gotten baptized since they started taking the classes.

Students from Ocosingo eating lunch together after classes (Estudiantes en Ocosingo comiendo juntos después de clases)

Last Saturday I travelled to the coast of Chiapas to visit the schools in Tapachula and Cacahoatan. The students in Tapachula also appeared to be very 7. motivados. They have several good instructores who attended preacher training schools in other parts of Mexico. I am a little worried about the situation in Cacahoatan, however. Fransisco, the director, was telling me how stressed out he feels trying to balance out the demands of the school, the church, and his family. He has cut back on teaching in the school and has not been able to recruit new estudiantes because of it. Although most preachers here earn little to no salary, they work at another 8. trabajo during the day and devote nearly every noche to Bible studies, house visits, and worship services. Francisco was telling me that he works from 7-2 every day in a middle school, goes home and grades papers, conducts worship services for the church in Cacahoatan every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday night, and spends every Monday and Thursday night in visits or Bible studies. Now he feels like being at the school all day Saturday has taken away the only time he has to spend with his familia. I think he also felt a little discouraged that he doesn´t earn more dinero from the other miembros for all his hard work.

Students having classes at the preaching school in Tapachula, Chiapas (Estudiantes durante una clase en Tapachula, Chiapas)

Unfortunately, his discouragement has rubbed off on the entire escuela. When I arrived on Saturday, there were only 5 students (all of them between 13-15 years old and family members of Fransisco), and they finished classes at 12 :30. The first time I visited this school, there were about 20 eager students present, they had four different classes and four different teachers, and they did not finish until about 4 p.m. (the ideal ending time for them to receive 9. credito). This problema—that many of the students quickly get burnt out and for some razon don´t want to continue studying—is one that has affected all of the schools. In Ocosingo, some of the girls got married and then didn´t come back. In Tapachula, some live far away and just didn´t want to pay the weekly transportation fares. In Cacahoatan, many of the teens graduated from 10. la preparatoria and left home to study in other universidades.

New Ideas (Nuevas Ideas)
Nonetheless, we continue to do everything posible for the students who really do care; who really are working 11. duro to finish the 12. programa and graduate. We are planning to have a 13. graduación for the first grupo of students in Mayo. The escuelas in Cacahoatan and Tapachula are only about 40 minutes apart, so I think I will suggest to Global Missions that we combine the groups into one to keep the students from getting discouraged by the small numero. David attended a different preaching training school also, and he says he is the only one in his class of 20 who is still preaching. But David also reminds us that for just one person, the school is worth it—like the one student we have right now who is preaching full-time for the congregation in Cintalapa, Chiapas.

Although we have had similar results in San Cristobal with the asistencia, David recently started up the clases 14. otra vez with a new group of students—most of them jovenes from church. The original idea of the schools was to train young men who want to be predicadores, then send them out to start new congregaciones in other partes of Chiapas. But there really aren´t very many muchachos who want to be preachers full time—mainly for the reasons I already mentioned, that they receive no 15. sueldo and feel constant 16. presión tending to the necesidades of the church and their family at the same time. There are a lot of men who LIKE to preach…but they view it more as an occasional actividad than as a job, filling in when needed and volunteering to go and preach in newer congregations every now and then—as long as someone gives them money for their 17. gasolina afterwards. With the exception of David, very few manage 18. recibir the funds necessary to dedicate themselves to the obra 100%. Anyway, for the first few años, the directores tried and tried and tried 19. persuadir men to come to the classes—all to no avail. Somewhere along the away the focus seems to have shifted from young men to teenagers. I think as long as the schools can keep a group of students, that´s better than 20. nada. I have not been able to attend any of the new classes in San Cristobal yet (since they also decided to change the 21. horario to only Saturdays), but so far between15-20 have been coming. Let´s hope and pray that the schools will continue and that those of us who play a part will not feel so 22. facilmente discouraged.

Teens from church and I at one of the girls´house to celebrate her 14th birthday (Yo con algunos jovenes de la iglesia en una celebración de cumpleaños)

Struggles of New Converts (Obstaculos de los Recién Bautizados)

The problem of poor attendance is prevalent with new conviertos, as well. Back home, when someone gets baptized it´s pretty likely that they´ll stay in church because a.) they grew up in church and their whole family is Christian or b.) they have a good group of friends at church who can 23. constantemente 24. estudiar with them and encourage them. Most of the new converts here, on the other hand, have no ¨support system¨to keep them going strong. David told me that there have been cinco baptisms since the start of the year, but of those I think maybe only one of them is still attending. So many of the gente here seem to have the idea that bautismo is something they do only to be saved and don´t seem to understand that their Christianity is a 25. carrera and could come into jeopardy at anytime. Many never attended church before in their lives and have a hard time developing the habito of going to church every Sunday morning—much less the other times there are worship services. From what I have seen, the biggest reason that new Christians don´t come back is family. Those who have close amigos or familiares at church participate more and stay motivated, whereas those who come by themselves and barely know the other members start to drop off 26. poco por poco. So many of the converts we have had in the past year never came back simply because their family members from another religion pressured them and caused them to question our form of 27. adoración.

Update on Marisol
I´m worried that that´s exactly what´s going to happen with Marisol. The first few months after her baptism she attended nearly every worship service, but since then she has cut back little by little. Now she only comes about one Sunday morning out of the month. She is the only one in her family who is a cristiana. I know her family members have pressured her, because every time I visit her she has doubts like, ¨Such and such a person said they do x thing in x religion and why don´t we?¨ On one side she has devout Catholics influencing her, and on the other side well-versed Pentecostals. To complicate matters even more, she moved to another house a few months ago that is much farther away, and she often uses that as an excusa for not going to church. (I have not been able to visit her as much because of it). Her other excuse is always that one of her kids was sick. José Luis warned me that even if I visited her, that was no guarantee she would come back to church (because the same thing has happened to his family numerous veces). But I told him that it was at least worth a try. This time, rather than preparing a estudio of my own, I asked her ahead of time if there´s anything she wanted to know more about. Fasting. Just as I had expected, her Pentecostal family members told her that in their church they fast every Saturday and wanted to know why we don´t. I honestly didn´t know a lot about fasting before I began to prepare the study, but she told me afterwards that I explained everything really well and she understood it all much better. What a relief! I also left her a handout 28. leer and told her to let me know if she had anymore questions. Nonetheless, she still did not show up for church again on Sunday.

The situation with Marisol is similar to that of many new converts. Sometimes it´s hard to know when to draw the line. When do we stop visiting and calling and inviting them to come back to church? When do we leave them alone and move on to someone else? When do we feel like we´ve done 29. suficiente in helping them obtain 30. salvación? As José Luis says, ¨If we are the ones who are supposed to be encouraging the others, who is going to encourage us when WE get discouraged?¨

Thank you, as always, for taking the time to read this blog. Don´t be afraid to share your opinion about anything I have mentioned; I would love to hear what others think or hear about similar experiences.

My mother-in-law taking a bite out of her birthday cake, a birthday tradition in Mexico. (Mi suegra comiendo una mordita de su torta de cumpleaños)

1. honestly

2. midnight

3. blankets

4. pillows

5. doctrine

6. New Testament

7. motivated

8. job

9. credit

10. high school

11. hard

12. program

13. graduation

14. again

15. salary

16. pressure

17. gasoline

18. to receive

19. to persuade

20. nothing

21. schedule

22. easily

23. constantly

24. study

25. race

26. little by little

27. worship

28. to read

29. enough/sufficient

30. salvation

Our Big Day--AmeriMex Style

After a long absence of planning for the wedding, spending time with my familia, going on a honeymoon, and moving out of the school, I am finally settling back into my normal actividades.

The Pelfreys come to Mexico

My family arrived on Dec. 9. It was the first time I had seen any of them since Junio, and it was really great being able to spend tiempo with them, if only for a few días. It was also their first time to meet their new son-in-law/brother-in-law! We spent the first three days of their viaje waking up early and visiting various tourist 1. locales in Chiapas. We were able to see Palenque, (the Mayan 2. pyramides), two 3. cascadas, two indigenous comunidades, and the cañon del sumidero ( big canyon), as well as a few things here in San Cristobal. We contracted a 4. agencia de viajes ahead of time, who provided us with a 5. horario and 6. conductor for everything we wanted to do. My family stayed in the school. (Actually, I spent the week before they came cleaning up in the school, setting up more 7. camas, etc.) Of course, they had to get used to sleeping in the cold without heat and throwing their toilet paper into the trash can…but I think other than that they really enjoyed everything. I also really appreciated having them here to help me with last minute wedding 8. detalles. Without them we would have never gotten the reception hall decorated in time!

All of my family eating supper with part of José Luis´extended family in their restaurant

My brother-in-law Joe, sister Amanda, nephew Nathaniel and José Luis inside a cave

Here Comes the Bride…
The wedding also turned out really nice. We got married on December 14, Sunday, at 6 p.m. (Actually, the invitations said 5:30, but that´s only because Mexicanos are notorious for arriving at big eventos at least 30 minutes 9. tarde). First we had the ceremony in the church building. As I have mentioned before, this part is known as the ¨acción de gracias¨ (action of thanks) because 10. predicadores here don´t have the legal right to marry the couple. There is no music and no ushers, and it is basically just a regular worship service except with a sermon aimed more at 11. matrimonio. My 12. cuñado Gerardo preached. With the 13. excepción of David, who led hymns, only family miembros participated in the worship service, both fathers and all 4 of José Luis´brothers. The entire wedding was a clash of Mexican and American tradiciones. I had no bridesmaids, but we did have a flower girl and ring bearer. The tradition here is for the bride to walk to the church from her house, and she designates one boy and one girl who carry her train the whole time. I did walk to the church, but only from a short distancia; and the kids didn´t help with my train. Instead of marching in to ¨Here Comes the Bride,¨ the church sang a 14. himno that they reserve only for bodas. They also sang the same song for the recessional. All of the jovenes and niños lined up to blow bubbles at José Luis and I as we marched out. Mexican parejas don´t leave before their guests like we do, but I really wanted to have the traditional grand 15. salida with bubbles. So we decided to change the 16. orden a little and do it in the church. And we did not ask the adultos since they have never done anything like that (and there was little espacio). After the ceremonia, we left together in a 1956 car (pictured below), went quickly to a photo studio for our big picture together, and continued on to the hall.

The Reception

By the time we arrived, the other guests were already waiting for us, and several of them lined up to clap as we entered. The hall we rented had a really nice yard outside with a long brick sidewalk (where we walked in), benches, tall 17. arboles, and several playground activities for the kids. We were blessed that the weather was unusually warm for December. Mexicans believe that for any celebration they have to eat a big meal and get really full, and otherwise it´s not worth their time. So before we even started with supper, we first had to provide 18. botanas and 19. refrescos to every table. José Luis´family owns two 20. restaurantes (Mr. Taco), and we were lucky to have the entire staff from one of them to prepare the food and serve the guests. Our 21. cena was a Mr. Taco speciality. Before José Luis and I could even sit down, everyone immediately approached us to hug us, congratulate us, and give us the gift they had bought (another Mexican tradition). That entire proceso took 30 minutos or more! Then José Luis´ aunt and uncle (our ¨padrinos de anillos¨) presented us with our rings, we read a poem together in English and Spanish, and showed two photo presentations. We could not receive the rings in the church building because normalmente the exchange takes place after the judge reads the marriage 22. contracto (in the civil ceremony).

Odd Customs

Another costumbre here is for the guests to take all of the decorations afterwards (including everything that is on the table) as a ¨souvenir¨of the wedding. Our theme was ¨From now until eternity¨, and we worked really hard for months and months to make all kinds of star decorations to hang from the 23. techo and put on the 24. mesas. Also we gave star magnets with our initials on them as party favors. But just one party favor is not enough! After spending all day Sunday getting the hall decorated exactly how we wanted it, everything got taken down in less than ten minutes! We were planning on using some of the things again in our American wedding, but oh well! José Luis´dad, who is a welder, also made 40 ¨anafres¨--little miniature steel grills with an opening in the bottom to heat food using coals, and 4 grips to set a plate of food on top. We had known all along that he would either have to make new ones or that the guests would take all of the ones they use in their restaurants…but of course there was not one for each person, and some people were practically fighting over who was going to keep them! The waiters could not even refill the anafres at some tables because the guests refused to relinquish them!

Oh, and Mexicans also have the terrible habito of inviting people who aren´t actually ¨invited.¨ For example, their great aunt Tess comes to visit and they say ¨There´s this wedding that I´m going to…and by the way, you´re invited too.¨ Plus, you pretty much have to count on the whole church arriving here—including those who have been ¨missing¨ from services for two months. It´s not like back home where only those from church who know you the best feel comfortable attending. There were at least 15 people at the wedding whose 25. caras we had never seen before. Another 20-30 we kind of knew, but not well enough to invite them; and we have no idea who did. The church building fills up on Sunday mornings with about 100 members. And the hall we rented had seating for 200. Knowing how Mexicans are, we rented enough tables and chairs for another 30 people to sit at the reception—just to be 26. seguro. Well I don´t know how many came in all, but the church was more packed than I´ve ever seen it, and the extra tables and chairs did come in handy at the reception. Plus, the kids were outside playing the whole time and didn´t really have chairs. So I think at least 230 people came—and we only invited 180.

Not so Nice Surprises

It is very 27. obvio to me that Mexicans have not yet learned to respect the 28. deseos of the couple. José Luis and I worked so hard and spent so much money planning how to decorate the church…only to arrive one day before the wedding to discover that the ladies from church had decided to surprise us with decorations of their own! Surprise they did! What are we going to do now, I thought, and why did they have to use pink and red, of all colors??? Some of the ladies must have worked for horas sewing new 29. cortinas, so of course there was no way we could take them down. I know they did it out of the goodness of their hearts with good 30. intenciones; I only wish they had let us know about it ahead of time!

Also, I mentioned that the Christians here don´t use musica in their bodas. We respected their wishes by using only hymns in the acción de gracias and thought it would be okay to play some romantic English and Spanish love songs in the reception. Think again! We were careful to select only songs that had no profanity, inappropriate 31. contento, etc. and played the CD on a very low volume, but even so that was still just too much for some of our Christian 32. invitados. We left the hall for 10 minutes to go take pictures, and by the time we came back, one of the preachers had forcefully replaced our homemade CD with Christian acapella. Being in no mood to argue, we finally just gave in and ended up listening to hymns the rest of the noche. I have noticed that one problem of many of the Christians here is that they don´t understand when something in the Bible is literal and when it is relative. So evidently many believe that when the Bible says to ¨sing and make melody in your hearts,¨ it means all the time, whether we are in a worship service or not. Despite their old fashioned ways, José Luis and I wish they had held out and been more respectful and mature for dos horas rather than causing us to feel so angry and frustrated on our wedding day.

Lame Wedding Services

Another thing that really gets to me is that contracts basically don´t exist here. You know how every wedding book or wedding magazine ever made recommends to get a contract for every wedding service you use well in advance with dates, times, 33. condiciones and prices thoroughly accounted for? Doesn´t apply in Mexico. We ask for a contract, they shrug and say they can´t do that. It amazes me how uninterested some of the people are here in good money and good business! We followed the ¨advice¨of starting to search for a photographer and florist a few months ahead of time—all to no avail. The first time we went, everyone was nice and willing to help us, genuinely interested in our business. ¨We don´t work on Sundays, but we will make an exception!¨ ¨Sure, we can give you a disc, no problem!¨ ¨Yes, we will be here on that day and your flowers will be ready the day before!¨ But when we went back to ¨hire¨them, it was a different story; ¨Nope, sorry, we don´t work on Sundays…and we´re not going to be here that day anyway.¨ ¨Why don´t you just find a friend or family member who can take the pictures for you instead?¨ (Yes, the actual ¨professional¨ photographer told us that!)

To make a long story short, we ended up hiring a different photographer five days before the wedding, and a different 34. florista just a day before the wedding…all because everyone kept changing their word, and upping the precios. The first florist that we had hired actually forgot all about our order! They were going to give us all different flowers (all uglier) and charge us the same price because they had run out of the ones we wanted. ¨That´s the whole reason we placed the order in advance!¨ we yelled in astonishment. Frantic, we started walking through the mercado until we found another flower merchant (NOT florist) who had enough flowers that we liked. We weren´t even too concerned about the colors at that point, we just wanted to find some that looked good and be done with it! I was practically holding my breath the whole time since many of the merchants were left with only boring white flowers due to the Virgin of Guadalupe day just two days before. I think it was only luck (and God´s providence) that allowed us to get our flower arrangements in time with flores that we were happy with. But being so leary at that point, I bought individual flowers for my bouquet and made it myself rather than depending on one of those goons to do it for me!

All in all the wedding was fabulous, and nothing to complain about. Click on these links if you would like to see more pictures:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2046931&l=d5a65&id=64506233
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2046989&l=f7e92&id=64506233

La Luna de Miel (The Honeymoon)

We spent our honeymoon in Hualtulco, Mexico, a spot on the Pacific Ocean about ten hours from here known for its nine beautiful bays. One day we took an all-day boat tour of the bays. We also got to snorkel, ride a banana boat, visit an ecological area, and go 4 wheeling through the jungle. Of course, we also swam a lot and ate a lot of seafood! The honeymoon was very nice and relaxing, and it was very hard for us to come back to freezing San Cristobal afterwards and resume our normal activities! Ever since we got back we have been busy moving things into the cabin we will be living in and getting it fixed up how we like it. (I will put some pictures on here once we finish with everything). The cabin is very cozy, the perfect size for two people, and just a five minute walk from the school. Also José Luis´family owns it, so we are very lucky that we don´t have to pay 35. renta. The only bad thing about it is that I have to get used to walking outside to use the bathroom and sink, and also to wash dishes. (We do have plumbing and the bathroom in not an outhouse; it´s just not directly attached to the rest of the house.) As my mom said, Mexicans built bathrooms ¨as an afterthought.¨ Even so, I am so happy living there just because I now have a wonderful husband who is always by my side, and who makes living in Mexico much more bearable. A Mexican Christmas

This year was the first time for me to be away from my family and out of the country during the holidays. As most of you already know, the Christians here don´t believe in celebrating Christmas. So my ¨Christmas¨was just like any old day. It felt really weird…but I really did not miss the gift giving and everything as much as I thought I would. I think I actually missed Thanksgiving more than Christmas and New Years! I missed my family, of course…but not as much as usual since I just saw them. José Luis´family did take advantage of the two nights they closed their restaurants, Christmas Eve and New Year´s Eve, for all of us to eat supper together (something they don´t normally get to do since they have to be in the restaurants every night).

I also got to experience the holidays from the viewpoint of another cultura. For Mexicans, Christmas is much more of a religious holiday (which is why the Christians here don´t feel comfortable celebrating it). Starting on December 1st, young people from Catholic churches all over Mexico run from church to church with a torch in honor of the virgin Guadalupe. At each Catholic church they come to, they leave one of the torches. They travel by truck and take turns running a distance of about 1 mile each on the 36. carretera. Each relay team decides what their final destination will be and finishes running there on December 12 (the Virgin of Guadalupe day). I really think they put more emphasis here on the Virgin of Guadalupe than on Christ or Santa Clause.

At midnight on Christmas Eve, families eat a big meal together. What they eat varies from family to family, but they do traditionally drink ¨ponche¨ (like punch, but hot). They start shooting off firecrackers in honor of Christ´s birth. Then, from what I understand, Christmas day is similar to our tradition of opening presents early and looking to see what Santa brought. The main difference is that instead of having another big meal together, they eat leftovers from the night before. Then many of the families like to go out and do something together (have a picnic in the park, go swimming, etc.) which is why a lot of 37. negocios here open on Christmas day (including Mr. Taco). It seems that New Years is not much different from how we celebrate it.

I was a little disappointed that the church did not do anything for New Years; but José Luis and I did at least go to one of the local 38. parques with some of the teens. We played soccer, kickball, volleyball, ate together, and also had races down huge metal slides. It was lots of fun.

Prayer Request

J.C. Enlow, who oversees the preaching schools here in Mexico, fell 14 feet from a hunting stand last week and is in critical condition. He has had several surgeries but has improved very little. Please keep him in your prayers.

1. locations

2. pyramids

3. waterfalls

4. travel agency

5. schedule

6. driver

7. beds

8. details

9. late

10. preachers

11. marriage

12. brother-in-law

13. exception

14. hymn

15. exit

16. order

17. trees

18. snacks

19. soft drinks

20. restaurants

21. supper

22. contract

23. ceiling

24. tables

25. faces

26. safe

27. obvious

28. wishes/desires

29. curtains

30. intentions

31. content

32. guests

33. conditions

34. florist

35. rent

36. road/highway

37. businesses

38. parks

Less than 3 Weeks to the Boda!!!

Let me be perfectly 1. honesta and say that the wedding is less than three semanas away and I still have a lot to do and am feeling pretty stressed out and exhausted lately. Plus my family is coming in less than dos semanas and I have been busy getting the escuela ready for them. So…this blog is going to be a short one.

Reuniones de Mujeres (Women´s Reunions)

Lately the hermanas from la iglesia have been having get togethers cada martes, and the 2. varones cada sabado. The hombres meet in the school, and the mujeres usually meet in the church edificio or in one of the ladies´houses. We sing 3. cantos and have a short Bible study, then we do some kind of actividad and eat juntos. One of the ladies taught us how to sew flower diseños on a cloth, and another taught us how to knit. The ladies from a nearby congregación, Teopisca (where there is no full time 4. predicador) come and visit with us every other week, and on the other weeks we go there. I´m not much into sewing, but at least they´re doing algo other than having a Bible estudio and leaving quickly afterwards. Below is a foto of us sewing 5. flores on un día when several damas came:

Reuniones de Varones (Men´s Reunions)

David has been using the Saturday reunions to help some of the men develop their preaching skills. Also, some of them having been going evangelizar every Thursday in areas of nuevas congregaciones. The congregation continues to send men to preach in Teopisca, Chiapas (which I mentioned above), as well as others. José Luis and I go to Teopisca every other Saturday. José Luis preaches or gives a Bible class, and sometimes more. There are only about 15 personas in the whole congregation, and only about 4 of them are men, so they need all the help they can get. Here is a foto of my future brother-in-law Gerardo giving a Bible study at Teopisca and the outside of the church building:

Grupo de Parejas Jovenes (Young Couples Group)

You may remember from a few blogs back that José Luis and I wanted to try to 6. iniciar a young couples grupo. We had hoped that after the first 7. convivio one of the other couples would take the initiative to host another one, but when several meses passed and no one else had offered, we decided to try it again. We invited them to come to the school to watch a 8. pelicula we had rented. We hooked it up to the new LCD projector, so it was almost like being in a 9. cine. And we were careful to tell them it was just a movie, because otherwise they would think that it´s¨another worship service¨and wouldn´t come. But they still didn´t come. Apart from José Luis and I and his brother and sister-in-law (who are the only ones we can really count on), only one other couple showed up (out of ten or more). For the longest time I couldn´t figure out why the other couples weren´t interesados…until David mentioned in a Sunday morning worship service that ¨we can´t have young couples reunions because it´s respect of persons. It´s okay to have get togethers but only if we invite the whole congregation.¨ It´s amazing how much one person can 10. influir the whole congregation! I still don´t understand where the cristianos here get their off the wall ideas …but David´s 11. concepto of the young couples group is just the kind of thing I was referring to in the last blog when I said that they´re not ready yet to accept the kind of plans and ideas that I have in mind. Nonetheless, I am 12. determinada to keep trying with the 13. parejas until they finally decide to give in and start coming (ha!)

¿Puedo cortar el cabello, por favor? (May I please cut my hair?)

It´s a big deal here for women to respect their esposos and ask them for permission for todo. Yesterday I went to a hair salon to see about the hairstyle I will use for the wedding. The hairstylist told me it would be a good idea to cut the ends of my hair first. I mentioned (jokingly) that I hadn´t cut my 14. cabello in a while ¨because my boyfriend doesn´t want me to cut it so it´ll be long for the wedding.¨ I told her to go ahead and do it while I was already there, and she started talking about how it would be better to talk to my novio first to make sure it´s okay and then come back another day. ¨Because if the wife doesn´t ask permission from her husband to do things, there are always problems in the relationship.¨ Of course that´s 15. cierto for some things, but not EVERYTHING. I sent José Luis a cell phone message asking his ¨permiso,¨just to appease her. Luckily José Luis is not chauvinistic like many Mexican men, and we both laughed about it later.

Algunas Dificultades de Vivir Aquí (Some Difficulties of Living Here)

It also amazes me how open the Mexicans can be sometimes with their 16. opiniones. I can´t even begin to tell you how sick I am of people who ask me ¨Why do you live by yourself?¨ ¨Why are you going to use colors in your wedding?¨ ¨Why do you use garbage bags?¨ and any other absurd preguntas! I really think there are still a lot of people here who think that I just stay in the house all day twiddling my thumbs, waiting for someone to give me something to do.

Besides the culture, there are some things about living here that I never really have gotten used to. When I´m ready to take a shower, I first have to go and light the pilot light on the boiler, then wait about 40 minutes for the water to get 17. caliente. Yes, I have suffered through plenty of cold showers since I´ve been here because I didn´t wait long enough. On a good day it only takes me five minutes to light the pilot. On a typical day, I try for several minutes, kick it, hit it…and it still doesn´t work. Now that the cold season is upon us, I shiver myself to sleep every night, wondering how long it will be before Mexicans buy heating systems for their casas. When I wash my face en las noches, the agua feels like ice slashing my face. When I wash my 18. ropa, I first have to wait and wait and wait for four buckets to fill up with water…then, 15 minutos después I have to fill up the buckets again in order for the washing machine to start the rinse cycle. (I foolishly did not realize until several loads of clothes too late that the 19. lavadora doesn´t move into the rinse cycle automatically.) If I am in the middle of cooking something and suddenly realize that I don´t have all of the ingredientes, I can´t just get in a car and drive five minutes to the closest grocery store; I have to wait for the bus, then finally arrive at the 20. tienda nearly half an hour after boarding (and by the time I get back I´m already starving!) If everything goes well, though, José Luis and I will move to the good ole USA together in the summer, so I will only have to put up with everything for a few more meses. Every lugar has its fair share of challenges though, so why am I even complaining?

Las Clases de Inglés (The English Classes)

I have been teaching English every sabado (10-12 for beginners and 12-2 for intermediates). The last time I taught I had a good grupo of intermedios but not so many principiantes. This time I have nine in the beginners class (it doesn´t sound like a lot, but it´s more than I usually have) and only two in the intermediates class (José Luis and his brother). The beginners are good students, but they seem to be on auto pilot throughout the entire class. Once again I feel like I am having to clean up the leftovers of poor teachers who don´t teach the students to think, only to write write write and listen listen listen. Plus, the 21. alumnos are too shy to even open their 22. bocas! In the intermediates class, on the other hand, we have been focusing more on conversation and reading skills. I have been giving them more 23. tarea so that we can make the most of the two hours we have together each week. I must admit that I like the intermediates class more even though there are only two of them.

24. Anoche when I came home, several military guys with big guns and stern faces were surrounding the school. Lately they have been stopping there to check cars for 25. drogas. Even so, it´s kind of weird and spooky to see them right in front of my doorstep!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thankgiving and that you thought of me, turkeyless and familyless, as you wolfed down your meal!!! (Just Kidding.) I spent my ¨Thanksgiving¨going from house to house giving out wedding invitations (since it is not acceptable here to send them in the mail). In half a day we managed only three visitas--and will continue again first thing mañana!

1. honest
2. men
3. songs
4. preacher
5. flowers
6. to start
7. get together
8. movie
9. movie theater
10. influence
11. concept
12. determined
13. couples
14. hair
15. true
16. opinions
17. warm
18. clothes
19. washing machine
20. store
21. students
22. mouths
23. homework
24. last night
25. drugs

Highs and Lows with the Jovenes

San Cristobal in the distance

Allow me to Vent…

I have a new pet peeve. I can´t stand it when people talk to me in Spanish, then a few minutes later ask someone else (NOT me!) ¨¿Ella habla español?¨ (Does she speak Spanish?). Or worse, they talk about me in the third person, as if I´m not even there listening! I just had to get that off my chest. While I´m at it, there´s something else I need to get off my chest too. David is infamous for preaching ONLY about marriage in the weeks leading up to the boda of two church miembros. Last week he mentioned José Luis and I in his sermon and it really bothered me. Actually, I became so mad that I left during the announcements; I was not in the mood to talk to anyone. José Luis immediately went and talked to him about it afterwards. I won´t tell you what David said because it´s so ridiculous; but I will include 1. un poema I wrote in repsone to what happened (at the end of the blog). Each of the church members (including David) have their good 2. puntos and their bad puntos, and of course I don´t want to dwell too much on the bad points. At the mismo tiempo, I don´t want anyone to have the delusion that everyone here is bright and fun and cheery and that I never have any conflictos with them.

Now for the more positive stuff! As you know, our work with the jovenes (like so many other things) so frequently teeters between really great and uplifting and really low and discouraging. For example, one week there are several in attendance, and the next week they´ve all disappeared again. I still haven´t figured out what causes the abrupt changes. But it seems that now we are in a high point again. We have been averaging close to 20 for the Sunday morning classes! José Luis continues to teach all of the teens together, and I only teach the girls once every two months or so.

Unresponsive Girls

Actually, the last time I taught them I was really 3. emocionada because I taught them about Esther, one of my favorite Bible characters. I asked them before we started what they knew about the 4. historia, and no one said anything. But only cinco girls showed up that day, and the whole time I was teaching them they seemed distracted, like everything I was saying was going in one ear and out the other. Also I have been wanting for some time now to help the girls 5. organizar a short worship service for the 6. damas of the congregation (working with the Young Ladies Serving Christ at Mt. Juliet last year inspired the idea). We frequently talk about using our 7. talentos and stepping out of our comfort zones, and I want them to be prepared for oportunidades they may have to lead as they get older instead of constantly being afraid to say a oracion, read a verso, or whatever. But one problema with not having ancianos is that David and Ani tend to take charge of everything. When I mentioned the idea to Ani the first time, she told me we would talk about it later. When I mentioned it again, she told me that I should consider putting tablecloths on the tables for the Sunday morning classes (I am not kidding you!) Obviously the way a 8. mesa looks is más importante to some people than whether their hijos have opportunities for spiritual 9. crecimiento. Also, I had all of the girls note what they would like to do (lead songs, speak, etc.) Then I started thinking that even though they wrote their names, I could not count on them to do what they said they were going to do. The teens have a terrible habito here of saying they´re going to show up for something, and then don´t. I was afraid that only 2 or 3 would show up (like always) and would be stuck doing everyone else´s part. I also didn´t want them to think I was forcing them to participate in something they weren´t comfortable with. So the next time we had class together, I told them to let me know afterwards if they were still 10. interesadas and what they wanted to do. No one did.

All of that was another low point for me. Reluctantly, I have come to accept that the Christians here just aren´t ready yet for the kinds of 11. metas and 12. ambiciones I have had in mind since the very beginning. Who knows when they will be…but at least I can´t say I didn´t try.

A New Take on the Teens´Class

Lately, however, José Luis has been asking the teens what kinds of doubts and questions they have and addressing those in the class. Not surprisingly, many of them were confused about the same topicos. What did surprise me is that they participated much more this time (we have asked them plenty of times in the 13. pasado what they want 14. estudiar and they never have volunteered anything 15. específico), and that some of their 16. ¨dudas¨are actually basic things that we thought they should already know well, like baptism. We started with an explanation of the 17. diferencias between the old and new 18. pactos, and now José Luis will begin to teach them about different parts of 19. adoración, and why we worship the way that we do. He is teaching them those things not just because of the doubts they have, but so they will be better prepared to talk to their amigos and familiares about the issues. José Luis´younger brother, Toño, has been involved in a series of discussions lately with some Pentecostal classmates, and he comes to José Luis anytime he doesn´t know how to counter an argument. So José Luis has used Toño´s preguntas as a springboard for the classes. We have a feeling there are several others who, like Toño, have not known very well how to talk to someone about doctrinal issues but have just been too afraid to tell us.

José Luis teaching the teens one Sunday morning

Reunión de Jovenes en Cintalapa (Youth Rally in Cintalapa)

Two weeks ago we took a group of ocho teens to a youth rally. There are about 30 teens in the congregación in all, and only about 20 who participate regularly. So I think for us to have to wake up early on a Saturday morning, pay public transportation, and go to a city about three hours away, eight is not bad. Remember that for them three hours is much farther away because they hardly ever leave their home towns. Many of them had never been to a ¨reunión de jovenes¨before, and some had also never been to the city where it was held (Cintalapa). Before we left they asked us to take them to the ¨central park¨ just so they could see what it looked like. (Each of the towns here have a big parque in the middle of the city, which is the part of the city you ¨have to see¨ in order to say that you´ve been there.) The only bad thing about the trip is that we had to pay for public transportation, about $13 a person. No one from church who has a car offered to take us, but that´s another story. I really think if it wasn´t for the transportation costs many more teens would have gone.

José Luis was in charge of games, and Cesar (the preacher/youth minister from Cintalapa) did not tell him about it until a few days before. So we spent the greater part of each of those days getting ready for the games. About 70 teens came in all---not bad for this to only be the second youth rally they´ve had. José Luis divided them into eight 20. equipos, and they had to run together to eight different stations to complete a certain activity as quickly as possible. The activities ranged from answering questions and riddles about the Bible to carrying their teammates to balancing water cups on their heads, and the first team that finished won a prize. The teens from San Cristobal and I manned the stations. When we arrived we ate breakfast together, then we received name tags and heard the first sermon. Everything started late and the sermon ran much longer than expected (almost 3 hours!), so we were not able to use all of the games we had planned. But the preacher was very interesante, and very good at helping the teens to think and reflect. After the games we ate lunch together, heard another sermon by the same preacher, and told each other adios. It was certainly not as well organized as an American youth day, and I think it probably hasn´t even occurred to them to split the teens into classes instead of having two long sermons. But all in all it was a success, and a good effort for their primera vez. I feel like the more they have these kinds of activities, the more they will improve.

All of us who went to the youth rally (excepto de José Luis). I told them we were going to take a silly picture, and this is what they did (nothing!)

Un Estilo de Vida Diferente (A Different Lifestyle)

I still have to remind myself sometimes that the teens here are so much different from American teens--not just in their estilo de vida, but in the kinds of things they are exposed to each day. Carlos, a young guy about 20 years old, got baptized and joined the grupo de jovenes a few weeks ago. (Below is a foto of his bautismo.) Actually, one of the girls invited him and studied with him--good for her! So far Carlos has participated a lot in the classes and seems to be really on fire for the 21. Señor. Last week, however, he explained to José Luis that the dueños of the room he is renting are very Catholic. They saw him reading his Bible a lot, and told him that Christians are not allowed to live there. When he tried to reason with them, they did not want to listen. How many American teens do you know who have to find a new place to live just because of their religion? Another girl, Maribel, has been attending with her aunt and other family members. She is 14, but does not go to school. The first time I met her she asked me what she would be able to help me with because she ¨needs to work.¨ Maribel is very sweet and 22. bonita, and on the surface she seems like any other 14 year old girl. You would never guess by looking at her that she had to give up studying and move to another ciudad in order to help her family.

Many of the jovenes cannot participate in as many youth eventos as they would like because their parents do not give them 23. permiso. Deissy and Sonia, however, are cousins who attend every reunión with their moms and abuela and must receive persmission not just from their papas, but from their GRANDPARENTS! It is not uncommon here for several familias to live together all under one roof—abuelos, tios, primos, todos! And those who are grown (with families of their own) but still live in their parents´casa must still consult with their parents first about how to raise their kids; they are not considered capable of making those decisiones themselves until they have their own house. Deissy and Sonia told José Luis that they really wanted to go to the youth rally, but that they are not allowed to go in public transportation. Even if they had been able to go, they said that their grandfather would have had to talk to the driver first!! It occurred to me that they rarely attend 24. cualquier of the actividades unless one of their moms accompanies them—and they are 14 years old!!

I am praying every day that the teens will grow spiritually and make good decisions and that José Luis and I will be good leaders for them. I also hope that we will be able to organize an area wide youth event in San Cristobal before we leave. I told José Luis it would be a good ¨last activity¨to leave with them before we go to the United States and someone else (hopefully) takes over. So please pray that that will also come to pass.

Our ¨taxi¨on the way back from the Tuxtla airport one day

Ceremonias Civiles (Civil Ceremonies)

More good news is that José Luis and I sent off the first part of the immigration paperwork last week—woo hoo!!! We decided to apply for a fiancé visa because it´s about one year faster than a spouse visa. Yes, we are still getting married in Mexico in December—but it will not be anything ¨official.¨ Mexican 25. leyes require couples to get married in front of a judge and two witnesses. The 26. juez reads a statement to them that they must repeat (similar to an American preacher reminding the couple of their vows), and then each of them sign the marriage decree. The judge also presents them their rings. The whole process is very long and boring and unromantic!

Laws here also state that this civil ceremony cannot take place in a church. Consequently, most Mexican couples choose to either have a short religious ceremony in their church first and then go to a public place afterwards for the civil ceremony and food (usually a hall that they rent), or they kill two birds with one stone by doing everything in the hall. José Luis and I decided to have the ¨acción de gracias¨in the church building because we both agree that a church has more romantic appeal and are willing to spend a little extra to make it look really nice. Even if we had decided to have the civil ceremony here instead of the U.S., the costs of hiring a judge and paying a fee for me being a foreigner would have been the same as those of the fiancé visa—and it would have taken up to a year longer. So basically we are going to get married in front of God and all of our friends and relatives but not in front of a juez. As part of the fiancé visa, we will have to get married within 90 days of arriving in the U.S. and send immigration the American marriage certificate as soon as we have it. Please pray that God blesses us throughout this entire proceso.

Mexicans must also appear in front of a judge when a new baby is born. I mentioned a few blogs ago that José Luis´brother has a new baby girl. For the longest time I found it 27. extraño that anytime someone asked they still had not decided on the girl´s name. Then I finally realized that they hadn´t decided yet because they did not have any kind of birth certificate yet! Forty days after she was born, they (the parents), the baby, and two 28. testigos attended a short ceremony in which the baby had her picture taken, put her fingerprints on the certificado, and received her official 29. nombre. They finally decided on Abril Guadalupe. They had wanted to name her Lupita Abril,(after her abuela), but the judge would not allow Lupita because it is a shortened name.

Una Nueva Escuela de Predicadores (A New Preaching School)

On Monday David and I traveled to Comalapa, a ciudad about three hours away, to see about starting up another Saturday preaching school there. We opened up a bank account for the school and met with some of the men who will serve as directores and maestros. J.C. Enlow thought Comalapa would be the best place for a new school because of its central location. But it turns out that the church in Comalapa is very small, and they meet in a casa that wouldn´t be big enough for all of the students. Originally the plan was to start the classes in Comalapa in January, but now we will have to find a good 30. ubicación first. It kind of irritates me that the men have known for several months now that we want to start up a school there but waited until now to let us know that there´s no place for it. But that´s just the way they do things here—and the kind of thing that make my job harder ; ) On the way back we stopped and visited with a few hermanos from other congregaciones who need 31. animo.

And now I will leave you with my poema:

Five Hours

The typical Mexican woman spends
At least five hours of her day
In the kitchen—
Cooking for her family.
She leaves the house only
To go to the market
And MUST have the food
Prepared and ready
At all hours—
To meet the family´s
Differing schedule.
Supposedly this makes her
An excellent mother, a sympathizing wife.

But where is the love
In all of her labor?
Where is the love
When her husband,
Having been gone
Who knows where all day
Arrives only long enough
To eat and instead of saying
¨Thank you honey, that was delicious!¨
Knows only how to say
¨Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!¨

Where is the love
When her husband beats her
With a belt
Because she did not do everything
Exactly to his standards?

Where is the love
When her husband
Gives her no money
To buy the food with
And expects her to make it
Magically appear?

Where is the love
When her husband
Sits at the table afterwards,
Watching TV and relaxing,
As she scrubs relentlessly
On the many dirty dishes?

Is there more love in a pan of
Burnt refried beans
That the wife prepared with
Utmost precision and care?
Or in a feast of chicken and rice and
Tortillas and caldo
That she made only because of
Obligation?
You decide.

1. a poem

2. points

3. excited

4. story

5. to organize

6. ladies

7. talents

8. table

9. growth

10. interested

11. goals

12. ambitions

13. past

14. to study

15. specific

16. doubts

17. differences

18. covenants

19. worship

20. teams

21. Lord

22. pretty

23. permission

24. any

25. laws

26. judge

27. strange

28. witnesses

29. name

30. location

31. encouragement